Ready to improve productivity at your next meeting? Pro tips from an inspirational group
For the past year, a Bellis team – licensed facilitators and occasionally me – has experienced group-sharing dynamics that are so remarkably effective that I find myself flipping through my notebook today, searching for clues. We should all be this good at listening. What's the secret of these groups, which consist of up to 12 women and meet for 12 weeks? Here are a few key points I've noted as I've observed and learned in awe:
Commit to absolute secrecy. Hearing private information in the gossip mill outside the meeting space would erode trust and, in effect, ruin the group.
Listen to the other speaker with an affirming and nonjudgmental posture - no eye rolls, raised brows, sighs, or tsk-tsks.
Be tender with each other. Recognize that there may figuratively be an inner little girl speaking, stuck in a developmental stage when something very difficult happened to her.
Perfection isn't reality. Forgive others. Forgive yourself. Extend grace and move on.
The primary role of the listener is to bear witness to a story. That's it - that's everything. Sit in the story and feel it. Don't derail this sacred experience (or make yourself more comfortable) by jumping in to rescue with advice or a box of tissues, feedback, or relating. When words seem necessary, stick to a simple appreciation and affirmation: "Thank you for sharing that. You've been through a lot. I'm so sorry."
Be mindful of the time and protective of everyone's opportunity to say what she needs to say.
When emotions run high, take a moment to breathe and stretch - even for a few minutes - to recalibrate your heart and mind. (This works!)
An outside observer joined me at this group a few months ago. She commented, "Why isn't every meeting in my life like that? They all listen and trust at an advanced level. It's so effective." I wholeheartedly agreed!
Are these trust-building and meeting-productivity tips applicable to school boards, church councils, staff retreats, and more? Would they be great for family gatherings over the holidays? Yes.
It's true that this group, which we host weekly at the Minnesota Correctional Facility in Shakopee, is unique in its setting and circumstances. The participants aren't gathering to solve a budget problem or design a new brand concept. However, their ability to authentically honor difficult truths while lifting each other up in hope is an inspiration. They teach us highly effective skills. Try a few today!
By Jenny Eldredge, executive director of Bellis