As I finish up my first 30 days as the new Executive Director at Bellis, I wanted to reach out and let you all know how things have been going. To say it has been a whirlwind is an understatement, but we are doing it!

It was a gut punch to hear. It always is. “Other kids are making fun of my son because they learned he’s adopted,” she said, her face wet with tears. In my 20 years of listening to thousands of adoption-related stories, this one always stings because it’s the story of my kids, too. And all the years of my advocating, program building, educating, and shouting from the rooftops haven’t changed it. But you can.

With a mix of joy and sadness, I’ve realized the time is right for a new leader to take the reins of 40-year-old Bellis as it faces a dynamic and important period of growth in serving the unique needs of women whose children are parented by others. I’ve made the decision to step down from this role by March 1 and support my board in its search for its new executive director. I’m immensely proud of the innovation and hard work invested in those years to ensure Bellis is ready for what’s next in 2024!

An outside observer joined me at this group a few months ago. She commented, "Why isn't every meeting in my life like that? They all listen and trust at an advanced level. It's so effective." I wholeheartedly agreed! Are these trust-building and meeting-productivity tips applicable to school boards, church councils, staff retreats, and more? Would they be great for family gatherings over the holidays? Yes.

If you (or someone you know) are a woman whose children are parented by others and has grief that needs attending, please consider the Bellis Stronger Together™ retreat program in Minnesota on Sept. 15-17. Now in its 10th year, these retreats provide a weekend of TLC and radical hospitality. They leave women feeling heard, which helps them feel stronger, supported, and lighter in their journey. The women find healing and comfort from peer support that comes with full acceptance and empathy. Learn more at mybellis.org.

Members of our Stronger Together grief-support group welcomed an MPR reporter and photographer into the sacred space of their conversation, which we host weekly at the Minnesota Correctional Facility-Shakopee. Why? Because their stories matter. And we are all better for hearing them. Thank you to Medica Foundation and the Sauer Family Foundation for standing behind this transformational, innovative work. Share it out to your networks. Let's amplify the voices of women whose stories are often unheard.

Photo by Kerem Yücel | MPR News

Bellis is 40-years strong, and on May 2 we celebrated our founding mothers, our community and the artists in our art exhibit, A Home for My Story.

A winter of research, training and planning has ended, and we’re ready to launch two new efforts this week. The timing is perfectly symbolic as new growth emerges from our cold gardens.

You’re invited to celebrate 40 years of Bellis with us on May 2, between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. We’ll recognize our founding mothers and our artists, enjoy refreshments and have a brief program. Made possible by our generous sponsors and supporters.

For 40 years, Bellis has been a home for stories around adoption and foster care, and more recently, stories around mothers who experienced termination or transfer of parental rights. We have provided a safe space to be open and vulnerable with others who also understand. It’s important work and we are thrilled to celebrate it all this summer. With three special events, we hope to connect with the entire Bellis community and friends, including our founders’ families, artists, volunteers and donors. Join us!

This summer, Bellis will celebrate 40 years of work. Four decades of offering love, compassion, support and education for adoption—whether by intention or by circumstance. It is work that has evolved to meet the needs of the time. What began in 1983 as education and support for birth mothers, expanded to community outreach and monthly gatherings for those with adoption connections, to birth mother retreats, and to grief support for mothers who have lost their legal parental rights. Mothers who need someone to understand and welcome them.

Photo by Khadeeja Yasser on Unsplash

Bellis Executive Director Jenny Eldredge reflects on daisies in summertime, and the ways that daisies and sunflowers symbolize the Bellis community. Bellis is a botanical term, and like these sunny and sturdy flowers, folks with adoption and foster care experiences often feel brighter and stronger in groups compared to standing alone.

(Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash)

When we help others who are in pain and feel hopeless, we strengthen their sense of wellbeing, plus their families’ and our communities’ wellbeing. To offer hope to someone is to soften their anguish. They stop having nightmares.

Women at the crossroads of grief, trauma, addiction and mental health challenges are finding hope at Bellis. We are pioneers in support for women whose children are parented by others – the only ones in the country to offer this expertise. Now in year two of this program, we invite you to invest in this important work.

Bellis is a pioneer in this specialized grief support work. Our expert-led, peer-based model is called Stronger Together, and it works.

When we listen with intention, we understand – without a doubt – that it’s beyond anyone’s ability or wisdom to put stories of adoption or foster care into neat categories to prove a point. We understand that to share these personal stories is very vulnerable and brave work.

At Bellis, we won’t deny their truths or tell them they just don’t understand what really happened to them. Would you?

An unsettling reality is that hundreds of Minnesota women are left without emotional support related to the fact that someone else will parent their children. That’s why, this spring, we will begin offering our Stronger Together peer-based support program to women who have lost custody of their children after intervention by child protection services.